Hypochondriasis

The human brain. It is perhaps one of, if not the most remarkable biological organ. While, it does not act alone, as a car does not move alone but moves via a combination of axles, wheels, pistons, etc. all working together to move the vehicle, it cannot function without an engine, just as the body cannot function without the brain. Now, to keep up with the car analogy, a car cannot function without wheels or axles or what not(I don't know much about cars, so eh, whatever), the body cannot function without a lot of the organs: heart, lungs, liver, etc., but the brain is the process center. The brain is where everything goes in and out as electrical impulses and is translated as movement, breathing, heart beating, vision, etc. Not only is it what runs the body, but it is also what we use to store information and knowledge, to create ideas, to be us. My brain is one that I very much like having, and I've always found myself to be pretty smart (not in an arrogant sort of way, which is probably why I come across as pretty stupid sometimes), my brain has always had something against me, and this is what it is.

Hypochondriasis: morbid concert about one's health especially when accompanied by delusions of physical disease.

People who suffer from this are called hypochondriacs. Now, not many people know this, I don't think anyone really other than my mom knows this, but I worry about things waaaaaayy too much, so I pretty much fall into that category. Accompanied with general anxiety disorder (undiagnosed, but I'm pretty sure it's the one thing I actually have), and the occasional panic attack, I freak out about things way too much. I should lay off caffeine, really, because it makes me feel really weird and only makes the anxiety worse. Every odd ache or pain or whatever, I automatically assume I'm sick or have some kind of terrible disease when really, it's just an ache or pain. And the internet doesn't help (screw you, WebMD), because I can look something up and I have either the common cold or AIDS (not really, just the dramatic turn my mind kind of takes.) So, I don't know, maybe I should go to the doctor and have myself checked out and see if there really is or isn't anything wrong with me, but even then, will it help or will I keep freaking out? It's a psychological thing, which is why I don't like it, because 1) I don't like psychologists, at least for certain situations, and 2) I can think of every reason I shouldn't worry about things, but I still do. I can't seem to talk myself out of this one. It's almost like I want there to be something wrong with me so I can say "HA, see, I was right!" to myself, but, well, then there would be something wrong with me. Really, I want it to all be in my head, not a brain tumor, but in my mind, rather. Just me imagining things, making it all seem a lot worse than it actually is, or at least I hope so. See, there it goes again. I'm pretty sure there's nothing really wrong with me, or I would know it by now. I will probably end up going to see a doctor eventually (i.e. once I have money to see one) for a check up, and from there I will either be reassured that's nothing wrong, feel fine for a week, then begin freak out again, or I will be told something is actually wrong with me. Hopefully it's the former.